Keeping Your Head Above The Waves
Hello, readers!
I know this girl is a day and a half late with her blog post, but it was for good reasons. Earlier this week, I got the pleasure of taking a small trip up to Chicago with my husband. I knew I was going to be busy during the small amount of time we would have up there, but I guess I didn't realize that I most certainly would not have the energy to write a whole blog post before Wednesday lol! So, here I am, making it up to you guys.
Now, originally, I was going to tell you all about my wonderful Chicago travels (Chi-town is awesome, ya'll) and show you pictures of cool local places I had visited..., but I think it's more important to take this time to talk about something I find near and dear to my heart these days.
As post college graduates, how many of you can honestly admit that you've had these questions rolling around your head over the past few months?:
What in the WORLD am I supposed to do with my life now that I'm out of college?
I've got my diploma, now what do I do? Where do I go?
How do I find what really makes me happy and do it without fear of what others may think of me?
How do I make the most out of my life? How can I be happy?
Why haven't I gotten "my time" yet? I've worked so hard.
Why am I working this pointless job when I want to be doing what I love to do?
For the past several months, I've noticed so many of my dear friends being ridden with anxiety because of the unknown of their futures. Even with the physical gap the computer screen leaves us, social networking has really filled me in concerning the status of my friends and colleagues (whether by blatant statements/status updates or in unusual and awkward silences), and also intimate one on one talks I've had with my friends has given me a lot of insight as to where we all are right now. I've noticed, that many of my peers are either rising to the occasion or losing themselves during what is probably one of the most stressful periods of our lives. School and college gave us such wonderful boundaries to help us soar and feel useful, and now that those perameters have been taken away and adult life has come upon us, I feel as though there's this huge disconnect happening amongst all of us concerning who we are and who we feel like we need to be.
Let's be honest with one another. Social media and networking is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it helps us all stay connected and feel like we're still in each other's lives. We get to "witness" moments that are going on miles and miles away from us. On the other hand, social networking has really made it hard to not compare ourselves to celebrities and to our very own peers. It has crept in and placed this standard in our lives; instead of figuring out where to put our own bars, we have let social media place it far, far above our own heads by making us compare our journies to someone else's. It's a race we will never win and it makes us feel hopeless which even furthers our anxieties.
We no longer know who we are, rather we only know who we are expected to be.
But is this real? Is this really what life is all about now, who we're expected to be?
In this world of who we're "supposed" to be, I think many of us can agree and say that we feel like the world we're "supposed" to be in, and live a certain way in, is swallowing us whole. We no longer feel in control or feel inspired. We get shut down the more we try to keep going. There's a huge mountain to climb before each of us, but we're second guessing the path we each must take.
For those of you who are feeling like life is swallowing you whole and leaving nothing but bones in the wake, here are some encouraging tips that I try to incorporate into my own life:
Breathe. How many times have you heard this one? A million and a half, I'm sure, but seriously, take some time amidst those three jobs you're working to pay your rent and breathe it out. Don't take the one thing we need to keep on living for granted. Breathing deeply spreads oxygen to the brain and stimulates your entire body. Taking a moment to breathe in deeply 10 times will make you think clearer and regain your ground. If you're feeling panicked or hopeless, breathe in deeply and exhale slowly 10x. If you pray or meditate, maybe even take that time while you're breathing to do those things. Prayer and meditation can be more calming and helpful than you realize. What I like to do is, when I'm feeling anxious or hopeless, breathe deeply 10 times while saying, "Thank you, Jesus". If you're not religious or you're not a Christian, that's okay! Just find some phrase that you can connect with and repeat it over and over (I also do this if I can't fall asleep at night due to restlessness).
Don't compare your journey to others. Not one person is on the same path as another. Don't wish for someone else's life, be proud of where you are and what you're doing because the grass is always greener on the other side. Everyone's been through things, really tough things, that not everyone knows about. Realize that everyone is human and that everyone takes different steps to get wherever they're supposed to be.
"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."
― Albert Camus
Take it day by day. Baby steps. I cannot say this enough. Being someone who has to deal with her own impatient nature on the daily, I know exactly what it's like to want something so badly but to not want to put in the necessary work to get there. All things that are good come in due time. Rome wasn't built in a day, loves, so enjoy each moment and the process it takes to climb that mountain you're facing.
Be genuinely happy for your friends' successes. OOF. This is a tough one, I know it, and it's not something that can happen over night either. It's truly hard to see your friends soar while you're still stuck on the ground, I get it. But if you want to see happiness and success in your own life, then you need to start being happy for other people. It takes practice and determination. Every time you see a friend or peer rise above in their journey and you feel that sour, bitter taste coming to your mouth, immediately tell yourself that they worked hard for that title--even if you think they didn't--and that your own day is coming. Somewhere in that other person's journey, they made a decision that led them to where they are now and you cannot control that. You cannot control anything but your emotions and the decisions you make. So, own that. Change bitterness into genuine joy because you know you'd want people to be happy for you too if it were the other way around. Being genuinely happy for your friends will make all the difference in the world, this I promise you.
Take time to do those little things that feed your soul. Like to paint? Cook? Sing? Write? Whatever speaks to your soul and uplifts you, don't neglect it! Those things can help combat stress and anxiety, and it can even lead to new, unexpected doors. That's exactly what I did and it has made the WORLD of a difference in my life. Being creative outside of acting (for those of you who don't know me, that's what I went to school for) has helped me regain my grounding and feel more confident in who I am. So yeah, it's definitely important to take time for yourself. And stop worrying about what other people will think!! Haters gonna hate always, and there's no changing that. So take what people say in stride and don't let them discourage you! Listen to your heart and if you have people who poke fun at you for your passions, then you don't them in your life, amiright or amiright? True friends will love what you're doing and high five you for trying new things.
"Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most imporantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them."
― Stacy London
It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel lost because everyone else has felt the same exact way at some point in their lives! Don't be afraid to admit that you feel this way. Be vulnerable. Feel what you feel. Feeling lost and overwhelmed is scary and daunting, but it can also be a time in your life where you really find yourself if you embrace it. Feeling like you're stuck in a desert alone with no sign of God or refuge for miles is not the best feeling, but it can be the time where you discover your strength and tenacity. I have felt this way so many times and it wasn't until I started picking up my feet and trusting that something better was waiting for me out there that I actually started to see progress.
Surround yourself with good people. This one is INCREDIBLY important. By surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you and your future, you're creating a support system that will help you get through tough times. Good people will remind you that we're all in this together, and they will make you feel less pressured. When you have good people to inspire and encourage you, you can, in turn encourage and inspire them by your own strength. When you are allowing negative people in your life, you are essentially adding more weight into your life that is going to drag you further down.
And also,
Smile. I know it's corny and maybe even a little cliche, but smiling even when you don't feel like it will change your day. Smiling and spreading positivity will boost your emotions, and it creates a ripple effect--if you smile, then you may make someone else smile, which in turn confirms your smile, and then that person may have needed it so much more than you and it could change their life forever, and they can go on and smile for someone else, etc. etc. Smiling can be a powerful catalyst if you let it.
The Paradoxical Commandments "People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway."
― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council
Everyone in the world will face a time when they feel like life is leaving them high and dry, and not just after college; life is like the ocean waves where they roll in and out, and pulse up and down. Things are going to happen, things that no one can control no matter how hard they try. The key to rising above and keeping your head above the waves is to keep on swimming. Don't give up. Don't let discouragement and negativity drag you down into the depths.
"Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it."
― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
I believe in you. I believe in your talents, even if you question them. Be love. Spread love. Love and appreciate the life you've been given and remind others to love their lives too.
I hope this helps, even if just a little bit.
Love and, Stay Magical.
Sam
